


Written Emotions

by punchbag_mcshizzle



Series: Solangelo Post-it Notes AU [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Post-it Notes Au, feels trip, so who wants to read Nico's side of their whole encounter, solangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punchbag_mcshizzle/pseuds/punchbag_mcshizzle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Nico intended to do is to write his frustrations and fears on a bunch of post-it notes. What he never expected was some nosy fuck trying to intervine but maybe that's fine though. Since in the long run, Will Solace having barged into his life did him good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Written Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Companion fic to Words Unspoken.

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you have to ask that same question everytime I'm forced to be here?" Nico scoffed. He didn't want to be there but everyone says he should.

Because he needed medication. He needs to get better.

Because he needed the help.

"This is standard procedure, Mr. di Angelo" The Doctor tried speaking as calmly as he can "I'm doing everything in my power to help you. Now would you please cooperate?"

Nico inwardly scoffed. It's not going to work anyway. Why won't they just accept the fact that it's all futile?

He can't be saved.

* * *

"You're giving your doctor a hard time. That's not good, Nico" Hazel chided her brother as she drew the curtains open giving a bit of light inside the usually darkened room. Nico winced slightly once the sun rays hit his pale skin.

"Not my fault the doctor's incompetent"

"He's only trying to help you get better" Hazel scolded

"I can't be saved. The earlier we all accept the fact, the easier we'll be able to get over it"

The girl sighed. "This is not good, Nico. You should start helping yourself. Just stop, okay? Stop confiding on your negative thoughts. We're going to find a cure so just hold on, please? For me?"

"...Stop looking at me like that"

Hazel blinked innocently "Looking like what?"

"That! Your pleading look that I can't say no to!"

The girl didn't stop but instead gave more emphasis to it. Nico scowled and tried glaring but to no avail and in the end found himself letting out a deep sigh.

"Fine. I'll concede for now. Happy?"

Hazel managed a smile, bringing the tray of food she brought with her. "Eat. You've skipped breakfast and barely ate last night. No more skipping meals"

"I'll eat. You can go now. Go do whatever you needed to do. Shower Frank with kisses or sonethibg"

"Tempting but no. I'll stay here and wait until you finish everything on your plate" Hazel pulled the chair from Nico's study table and made herself comfortable. Nico just let her be having lived with her long enough to know that her stubbornness rivals his own. And right now, he's nit in the mood to argue.

"I have a proposal. It's kind of weird but knowing your way with people it might work the best for you" Nico didn't speak a word but motioned for the other to continue "You know how the doctor's have advised that you find an activity to work as an outlet to relieve yourself from too much stress because it's not good for you but no you just have to be stubborn about it?"

"No need to rub it in my face"

"Nico"

"Fine. What is it?"

"Post-it Notes" Sometimes Hazel just speaks straight to the point and mist if the time, Nico often immediately understands but right now he's clueless.

"Come again?" Nico raised a brow.

"It'll be like a diary or a journal where you can pour your feelings into. Your fears, your emotions, your desires, your regrets" Hazel started to explain "But instead of forever keeping the words inside the pages of compiled paper, you're going to write it in a note and post-it somewhere. It'll be like your way of sharing things to the world without you having the need to engage yourself with awkward human contact or whatever list of odd things you've thought about socializing"

"You're right, it's weird"

"But it might work. Why don't you give it a try?. Just give the idea a chance, Nico" Hazel sounded hopeful "Maybe this way, you'll find more reasons to live"

The last words were supposed to be nothing but a whisper and yet Nico had heard. He had heard but pretended not too.

Hoping too much never ended well anyway.

* * *

He was supposed to only give it a try but before he knew it, Nico had already taken into writing on post-it notes as if it had been his life line. And it just might be.

Funny how throwing bits of his turmoils on sticky pieces of paper can actually make a bit of a difference. There's just something about having finally blurted his worst fears that had slowly made him realize that yes he's vulnerable. And that yes, he is afraid.

And most of all, he fears death.

_-I'm breathing but I'm barely alive. I'm alive but I don't exist. I exist but I'm not exactly breathing._

He wants to live.

* * *

**_\- You don't know me but you've got me intrigued. Hi, I'm a stranger and it looks like you're feeling down. Want to be my friend? My hugs are pretty special.^^_ **

"That doesn't look like yours"

"It's not" Nico shrugged casually trying not to think too much of it.

Jason did a double take "Come again?"

"It's not mine. For some reason, a nosy fuck decided to intervene on my post-it notes" Nico showed the note for Jason to read.

"Whoa. Whoever this is should totally get a job in calligraphy arts. Their penmanship so mad" The blond handed the note back "You should try writing back"

"What? No way in hell, Jason. I don't even know anything about the person except the fact that they invaded my personal space"

"Personal space invaded, got it" Jason raised his hands in a stop motion "But, listen maybe it'll be good for you.

Nico glared at Jason. "Or it could just be a prank"

"Or this could be a way for you to finally open up to someone outside your non-existent social life" Jason urged on "This could be good for you. Come on, Nico it's either you write back now or I'll get Percy to help me annoy you in doin so. Your choice."

"Fine. I'll write back" He took the small pad of post-it notes he would always carry around with him and wrote something quick.

He posted the note.

_-Fuck You._

"There. Happy, Grace?" Jason clearly isn't contented but he let it be for now.

At least there's a tiny bit of progress.

* * *

_**-Now isn't it much to early in our relationship for that? We haven't even met each other yet, honey.** _

Nico totally didn't blush with the pet name. Totally did not. Who actually blushes after someone called them honey on paper anyway? Not Nico. Yes not him.

Wow okay, he's such a virgin at this. Getting flustered over an endearing name from someone he doesn't even know. Shouldn't he be disgusted or annoyed or even mad but for some reason he is not.

_-You're a annoyance. Leave me alone. Also, we don't have a relationship. Stop bothering me. And don't call me honey._

The person stopped calling him honey. Of course, instead he started suggesting calling him something much worst. Babe? Gummy Bear? Seriously?

Nico's heart is palpitating. What the fuck?

_-If I ended up regretting this, I'll hunt you down._

_\- Stop those idiotic endearing words, would you? I'm allergic to overly sweet name calling. If I start itching, I'll blame you._

Totally allergic. Right.

* * *

He was supposed to only tell the mystery person to fuck of and leave him alone.

He ended up doing anything but that. And the bittersweet part? He's starting to enjoy it a lot. And maybe he should stop this ridiculousness while he still can. Nothing good will happen if he'll keep engaging himself with someone anyway.

He should stop.

But for some reason, he can't find the heart to do so.

* * *

He ended up telling someone he doesn't even know details about himself he couldn't possibly tell anyone else.

_\- I'm a huge ass nerd for the Mythomagic game. I have most of the figurines collected except Hades which is an actual bummer since he's the best card there is._

_\- Also Fun fact: My dad's name is Hades. For real._

The person is far too accepting with everything. A total opposite of what Nico was in person. Nico had no idea if he should be wary about him or not.

**_\- I've played that before. Apollo had been my favorite. And really? That's like super wicked. If it makes you happy my dad named himself Apollo but his birth name had been Lester. He had his name legally changed when he was twenty-one._ **

* * *

His sort of post-it pal is apparently a health freak. Go figure.

Adding more to the matter, the person seemed to be specially concerned about his health.

Nico looked slightly guilty at the large fries in his hands. Whatever, junk food is his sin. With that, he stuffed more if it in his mouth.

Nico had wondered. If that person had known about his struggles, would he be stubborn enough like the rest and try to save him? To want him safe and sound and okay?

Nico quickly shut the idea of possibility before he started fantasizing over it.

_-Didn't your parents told you to not be a nosy fuck? Also, fuck your opinions, if I'm going to die might as well slowly die happily from too much calories._

Nico had questioned that day as to why the stranger's opinions seemed to have mattered a lot.

Subtlety, he already knew why. His brain simply doesn't want to recognize what his heart had been telling just yet.

* * *

When Nico had been younger, he wasn't the bitter, depressed and lonely person he is today. He was happy, he enjoyed living.

He enjoyed life.

But the happiness? They don't last long.

First it had been the untimely death of his Mom. The building where she was at that time had collapsed due to weak structure. His Mom had been one of the unlucky ones. He was six.

He had recovered quickly from it, faster than anyone had anticipated. Only because Bianca had been there.

But she too had been taken from him. A freak accident on a camping trip. Bianca had only been twelve. Nico was ten.

That was the moment when the colors had slowly started being dominated by blacks and grays.

* * *

**-It's flu season. I hope you're watching over yourself. Don't want you getting sick. Remember to always keep yourself hydrated.**

-Why _do you_ care?

The person is a stranger and to the other, Nico is also one so why does he worry about Nico?

"Everyone's a stranger at first, Nico" Reyna had adviced "That doesn't mean they can't genuinely care about you"

**-Why shouldn't I care?**

-We're not exactly friends, annoying stranger.

He had been too young when he had lost his Mom and still too young when they took Bianca. Those events took a lot from Nico. He felt lonely, he felt like crying over and over again.

At a young age, he blamed the world of it's unfairness.

And then Hazel and Persephone came along and though they'll never replace Bianca or their Mom, at least the fates seemed to have compensated for his lost.

He had been wrong.

About a year later, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

That had been the time when he started giving up on his own life. He fell into depression. He stopped associating himself with people, thinking he won't live long enough to make an impact anyway.

He's nothing but a burden.

Those where the times when the blacks and the grays occupied more spaces in his world than bright hues.

But then, through some strange kind of circumstances, he had found a reason to live. It is weird, how his family had been giving him reasons all this time and yet as much as he love them, there's just something that had been missing.

And as simple and odd as it might have been, the post-it notes exchanges had been like his guiding light.

He found a brand new reason to live. To wanting to fight back. And slowly the yellows and the purples and red and green and blues started to occupy space.

It felt good.

* * *

_**\- Would you tell me your name?** _

Nico. His name is Nico. It was supposed ti have been associated with victory but Nico never really felt that much winning in his life.

If fate would tally all his losses to all his gains, the weight of his loss would quickly overwhelm the other. Though now, the scales are slowly being tipped.

_Why would you like to know?_

Still, he had been skeptical.

* * *

_**-Because you love me?** _

_-You're a dork. Maybe I'll tell you one day. If you're in luck. And love is too strong of a word, careful how you use it, Stranger._

Because he might start believing into it. And as great as it sounds, he can't take that gamble.

_-P.S. I never knew self portraits can be so accurate._

* * *

He had seen the other's another poor attempt of a drawing. Chuckling, he found himself trying to crack up a joke about it.

- _Is this you on steroids?_

* * *

**_-Are you ever going to tell me your name?_ **

Without another beat, he took a note out and wrote a single word.

_-Nico_

He didn't feel any regrets.

"This person is good for you" Percy had been the one to accompany him towards the phone booth. Nico stared at his current note and for the first time showed a smile that wasn't too forced.

"Yes, I think so too"

"That's great. I'm happy for you, Nico" Because anyone who can make Nico smile and less pessimistic about his life is okay in Percy's book. Even if it's a stranger behind post-it notes.

* * *

_**-It's nice to meet you, Nico. My name is Will.** _

Is it safe to say now that Nico had found a new reason to live? And his name is Will?

Or would that be a bit too much to say? A senseless piece of perception built from emotions he wasn't even sure what they're made with?

Is it even okay to feel that way?

* * *

_\- Hi, I guess._

_-How did you even come across my notes. It's not like people actually pay attention to the red telephone booth._

He had wanted to thank Will but the courage to do so had left his system before he can even acknowledge it.

_**\- Maybe Fate?** _

_**-What's the deal with the post-it notes anyway?** _

_**-Sorry if I sounded imposing. You don't have to tell me anything you're uncomfortable with.** _

Why is Will such a genuinely caring person? He's like an entity so pure and perfect, no one should deserve him and yet he's there.

_-It's an outlet. Hazel, my sister said I needed one. Please don't start asking about it._

**_\- I won't but if you want to blurt things out with someone, I'm your man._ **

**_-But hey, If you don't mind. Can I know a bit more about you? Sorry if that sounded creepy and stalker-ish but just simple things like your type of Music? Book genre? Marvel or DC? Do you like the sunrise or the sunsets? What makes you happy? Are you a cat person or a dog person?_ **

* * *

Nico wokelying down on his bed. Weird since the last he knew, he had been having a walk around their neighborhood. His cousins and friends weren't there since they had to attend school and Nico, who felt a little bored had taken a stroll.

So why is he on his bed?

The door opened revealing his stepmother. "Nico? How are you feeling?"

"How?"

"Leo and Piper saw you passed out on their way home. Supposedly, they're about to call for an ambulance but knowing how you hated hospitals, they decided in taking you home instead" Persephone explained "I've already called your doctor and alerted him of what had happened. He says you fainted due to too much exhaustion but either wise you're fine but if anything happens, he reminded to be called immediately"

Nico nodded in understanding.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry?"

Nico shook his head. "No, thanks. Can I be alone for now?"

"Of course. If you need something, call me"

_-Why are you so adamant in trying to know me? Am I your next charity case?_

* * *

_**-Okay, fine I have a confession. At first, it's my want to help people that kicked in but as I get to know you better, it's not only the idea of helping you that started to matter. I genuinely really wanted to know you. I want to be your friend. I want to be part of your uhm, life.** _

Nico had no idea how long he had stared at the words. It was overwhelming and it felt really nice.

Still, he had doubts.

_-What a sap._

_-You'll eventually get tired of me, it won't be surprising if it does happen. People always come and go. No one in your life is permanent_

* * *

Nico can't explain how but he can feel Will's disappointment on his latest note. And admittedly, he felt guilty.

**_-Wow pessimist much. Too bad for you then, I don't tire that easily with people. I'll be sticking with you for a long time... like for eternity long. I already planned my life that way. Your objections are invalid._ **

**_-You know, I really want to meet you right now. Just so to prove that my intentions are crystal clear. I really want to know you more, Nico._ **

* * *

_-I guess meeting you would be fine. I'll think about it._

Nico felt nervous while writing the note and for some reason, it wasn't about meeting Will in the flesh for the first time. He's excited about that part.

He just can't shake away the feeling that something is about to happen.

He can't be anymore right.

* * *

"There's this new treatment overseas and I have plans to take you there. We're scheduled to leave the day after tomorrow"

Hades di Angelo had always been blunt and straight to the point. Always making decisions without consulting the people that might be involved. In this case, Nico.

"Why are you telling me this just now?" Nico clearly did not bother hiding the disbelief in his voice.

"Because if I had told you earlier, you would have done everything to stop it" Hades spoke calmly but with firmness in his voice.

"Of course I will! My life is not yours to manipulate and have decisions for! Did you even ask me if I wanted to be under another stupid treatment?"

"Stop acting immaturely, young man" Hades spoke with finality "We'll be leaving and I want all of you to pack your belongings. My decision is final"

Nico placed his utensils none to gently on his plate before standing uo and walking out of the dining table without a word.

"Nico!" Hades was about to reprimand his son when Persephone motioned him to stop.

"Let him calm down, first. I'll try talking to him later"

* * *

_-Hey, so stuff happened and I can no longer meet with you._

_-Uhm. I'm leaving tomorrow and I don't know when I'll be back or if I'll ever get back at all. Sorry if this sounded like you're being stood up or something._

_-I'll leave you my contacts. Uhm... try calling me or leaving me a message?_

_-I'm Sorry, Will_

"We need to go, Nico" Jason carefully tapped Nico's shoulder "Hazel won't be able to cover for you for so long"

"Can't we... Can't we stay a bit longer? Maybe he'll show up?"

"We've been here for an hour. We really need to go"

Nico took one last look at the note, maybe in hopes that if he kept glancing it'll magically slow time. It did not. And Nico had been broken before but this, this is different because for the first time he had wanted to try unto something, to try and take a risk

"Jason I'm tired"

"Do you want me to carry you? I can give you a piggy back ride" Nico chuckled humorlessly at the response.

"Not that kind of tired" Nico's voice trembled as he desperately tried to stop the tears from falling down but to no avail. He ended up just letting it flow, maybe just this one time it's okay to be vulnerable. "I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired if the fact that I've practically given up on my life but the moment I would find a simple reason to keep on living, I can't have it's luxury. I'm tired and it's unfair'

"I'm sorry, Nico. If only there's something I can do"

* * *

Alas, through some cruel stroke of fate, the post-it got unstuck and down it went on a corner, hidden and mostly unnoticeable.

Probably never to be seen again.

The wind blew by but instead of the sweet whistles it usually accompanies, the chimes seemed to have sounded bitter and sad.

As if it was mourning for the two souls both unaware with fate's cruel little trick.

Because it's never going to be easy. Would it?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Double the heartbreak? Why must I keep the torture going?
> 
> Excuse my poor attempt on giving feels. I should stop myself on trying to write hurt/comfort fics it's not my forte.
> 
> Find my stories on [tumblr](http://darkness-can-shine.tumblr.com/)


End file.
